Adams Autism Family

If you’ve been with us since 2017, you might remember the 3-minute video of Adam’s roadside meltdown that went viral on FB. We’ve reposted a shorter version of it today—especially for the many new followers who’ve joined us since then. Watching it again now, I realise how far we’ve come. I wasn’t as composed back then. We were still learning, still navigating unfamiliar waters. Today, we’re a lot more grounded. A bit more patient. And even Adam—his meltdowns are less frequent now, and he has a little more self-control than before. It’s been a long journey. And we’re still learning. But we’ve come a long way. Can’t believe this was some 8 years ago. Adam was 16. His prime as far as meltdowns were concerned. How many of you have seen this video before?

Why do some autistic individuals hit walls, tables, or surfaces? It may look alarming to others, but for many autistic individuals, this isn’t about violence or aggression. It’s often a form of communication… a cry for help… or a way to cope when words fail. Sometimes it’s sensory — their body craves deep pressure or strong vibrations. Sometimes it’s overstimulation — and the hitting helps them regulate. Other times, it’s frustration, pain, confusion, or emotional overload they don’t know how to express. For our son Adam, we’ve learned to look beyond the behavior. It’s not always about what we see, but what he feels and can’t explain. Every hit, every bang, every knock, is trying to say something. We just need to listen differently. Most importantly… do not lose our temper… never respond with excessive anger… yes sometimes it’s hard, but please try to remind ourself… don’t get too emotional. #AutismAwareness #UnderstandingBehaviors #AdamsAutismFamily #autism

It’s been building up. The sleepless nights, the restless energy, the constant pacing, I suppose it was only a matter of time before something gave way. Tonight, Adam had a full-blown meltdown as I was trying to ease him into an earlier bedtime. He suddenly erupted hitting himself, slamming the walls. I rushed in to calm him, and in the chaos, caught a few scratches on my face and hand. Moments later, the team arrived — mommy, Arena, and Ara, each of us doing our part to hold space for him. It was one of those moments, heavy, raw, and humbling. But maybe, just maybe.. after releasing all that tension, he’ll find the calm he’s been missing. Maybe tonight will be the start of a gentler rhythm to sleep… For him. For me…

Adam slept at 10am and woke up at 5pm. Looks like we’re in for another marathon night ahead… 😅 But you know what? The house was unusually calm and quiet while he was asleep. Like… too peaceful. And then... he woke up. All systems go. Chaos resumed. But that’s our normal. And truth is, I’d rather have the noise… Because it means he’s here. #autism #asd #nonverbal #adhd #neurodivergent

July is Adam’s birthday month. So this month, we’ll be sharing some throwback reels to bring our new followers into our world, and to take our longtime friends down memory lane. This one was from 2017 at Atria Mall. The very first time we ever showed Adam having a meltdown in public. I still remember that day like it just happened. Back then, I could hold him down on my own. He was 16 — smaller, lighter. But it didn’t stay that way for long. Today, it takes three of us to manage him safely during meltdowns. But what changed more than that… was me. With time, I’ve come to understand Adam better. His triggers, his patterns, the signs before the bigger storm. And sometimes, not always.. but sometimes, I can stop it before it even begins. Alhamdulillah. And the biggest difference? I’m calmer now. Less agitated. Less angry. Because I’ve learned when I stay grounded, it helps him feel safe too. Believe it or not, a child’s meltdown can mirror the parent’s emotional state. So I try… not just to manage him, but to manage me too. Parents...Because they needs us, not just strong, but calm. Not perfect. Just present.

Autism or not, when Adam does something wrong, we still need to be firm and correct him. Yes, he’s special. And I’ll admit I sometimes let him get away with more than I should. I give in, hoping to keep the peace… or maybe because deep down, I just want to make things easier for him and for me. Mommy doesn’t always agree with that. She reminds me that structure and consistency matters, and she’s right. For autistic individuals, firm routines and clear boundaries are essential. Not harsh. Not emotionally charged. Just calm, consistent firmness. It’s not about being strict. It’s about helping them feel safe and guided. Routine makes a habit. I’m better now than I used to be. I was guilty of spoiling him partly because I’ve always had a soft spot for Adam… and partly because I often chose the easier way out. But easier doesn’t always mean better. I am still learning, trying… #AdamsAutismFamily #AutismParenting #GentleButFirm #SpecialNeedsParenting

Parents to children with Autism who are struggling with meltdowns, did you know? I didn’t. No one told me. I wished I had known this much earlier when Adam started to have meltdowns during his early teens. And even when I got to know some 10 years ago, I took a long time to adapt, adjust, and implement. I was still losing my temper when things got a little too intense. After all, Daddy had bad days too. Alhamdulillah, my prayers were answered. My unconditional love for my son prevailed.

Stimming. Short for self-stimulatory behavior. For many autistic and ADHD individuals like Adam, it’s their way of processing the world, releasing energy, or calming themselves. It can look like hand flapping, bouncing, pacing, vocal sounds… and for Adam, it often means sudden bursts of hyper energy that light up the whole house. It may seem “too much” to outsiders… but to me, it’s just Adam “adamizing” I call it. Yes, he can get really loud. Yes, it can be chaotic sometimes. But as long as he’s happy, playful, and not in distress, I’m happy too. There’s no need to scold or try to stop these moments. Suppressing stimming is like asking someone not to breathe. Letting him stim freely is how I embrace his joy, his needs, and his way of coping with the world, more importantly for me to be a part of his world. Daddy says, “Let him be. Let him feel safe in his own skin. ❤️

Sometimes, when our autistic kids especially the non-verbal ones like Adam tries to connect with us, it doesn’t always look like how you and I would communicate. It can come out as loud, impulsive, or even aggressive. And sadly, that’s when they’re most misunderstood. But what if that behaviour… wasn’t them being naughty? What if it was their way of saying, “I’m sorry, mama… are you still okay with me?” Or even, “I love you dad, I just don’t know how to show it.” Imagine feeling so much inside, but not being able to say it. And the people they love most… don’t get it. That kind of pain is hard to describe. So the next time they act up, pause. Breathe. Don’t assume. It could be their way of reaching out. For me, this realisation came a little late… after many mistakes. But it changed the way I see Adam now. And I hope this sharing will help someone else who may need to know too.

Akhirnya sekian lama menunggu, bertahun, dan teringin sangat nak dapat kepastian, kami melakukannya di hospital Swasta. Alhamdulillah.

Personal hygiene and grooming are often overlooked or compromised when it comes to many autistic individuals especially teens and adults. Things that may seem simple to others, like getting a haircut, trimming nails, managing acne, brushing teeth, or even taking a proper bath, can be overwhelming and challenging for them. With Adam, mommy has always made this a priority. She’s meticulous and never stops reminding me of the importance of consistency in this area. From a very young age, we’ve exposed Adam to all these routines not because it’s easy, but because it matters. One day, if he ever has to manage these things on his own, we hope the memory and familiarity will guide him. It may never look the same as how we do it for him, but at least he’s had the experience. And sometimes, that’s how independence begins, with memories, routines, and love. #AdamsAutismFamily #AutismAwareness #SpecialNeedsParenting #DailyCare #AutismAndHygiene

5 years ago #onthisday Time flies... Life is short... Everyday’s a blessing... July is Adam’s birthday month...

Adam tolong kasi stretch sikit seluar jeans mommy yg dah tak muat mommy... 😅 Mcm mcm Adam ni, pakai jeans mommy dia plak. Sabar ye mommy, Adam nak makan kat luar sempena celebrate mother’s day. Jom! Adam tried to put on his mommy’s jeans... 😅

Motif Viral on Astro was our very first, and I believe our last TV appearance with Adam in a TV studio, back in 2017. Thankfully, it was a pre-recorded program… because Adam had a meltdown the moment we arrived, which delayed the shoot by nearly 30 minutes. That experience taught us a lot. It’s one of the main reasons we’ve turned down many invitations to appear on talk shows with Adam since then. Not because we’re ungrateful, but the stress and unpredictability just isn’t worth it. Not for Adam, and not for us as a family. How many of you caught that episode #44 back then? Looking back, it really set the tone for our style of autism advocacy. It was never just about the individual on the spectrum… it’s always been about the whole family, the struggles, the impact of adjusting our lives revolving around living with Adam. #autism #autismparents #autismfamily

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Adam’s been having another phase of sleepless nights, four days now, and he only manages to fall asleep around 4am. I’ve come to accept that this is part of our journey. The thing is he wants my company when he’s up. He doesn’t realise it, daddy’s running on less these days. I used to be able to stay up and sometime even get some work done... now, not so much. My brain shuts down after midnight. But I’ve learned to take it one night at a time. One moment at a time. This isn’t about being a good father. It’s about doing what I still can. If not me than who? Mommy needs to wake up early for Ara. Generally I will sleep in till Adam wakes up. Tac-team so to speak. To any parent walking a similar path — I see you. You’re not alone. We do what we can, with what we have, for the ones we love most.

Orang selalu tanya saya, “Apa akan jadi pada Adam bila saya dah tiada nanti?” Jawapan saya sentiasa sama, “Saya pun tak tahu… tapi yang saya pasti, anak saya sudah ada tiket ke Syurga. Dunia ini terlalu sementara. Apa pun yang terjadi, kita semua akan pergi juga. Siapa dulu? Kita tak tahu. Jadi selagi saya masih ada, saya akan hadir sepenuhnya untuk dia setiap hari, dan terus pegang amanah ini sebaik mungkin sebagai ayahnya. Cuba jalani hidup yang diredhai bersama dia.” InsyaAllah, bila saat itu tiba, kita tak perlu tunggu lama sangat untuk bersama semula. People always asked me “What’s going to happen to Adam when you are no longer around?” My answer is always, “I have no idea but what I do know is my son already has a ticket to Syurga.” Dunia is too temporary. Come what may, we all will go. Who first? We don’t know. So for every single day I still have, I will show up for him 100%, and continue to hold my amanah the best I can as his dad. Try to live a righteous life with him. InsyaAllah we wont need to wait for each other too long when the time comes.

Adam… can daddy get a little break today? 😅 Maybe it’s just wishful thinking… 😁 But thank you, Adam, for giving me the chance to be the best old man I can be for you. It may never feel like enough, but I pray Allah eases our journey and makes up for all the shortcomings I have as your father. #adamsautismfamily #fatherhoodjourney #fulltimecaregiver #autismdad

Thank you to everyone who gave gifts... Thanks for hanging out tadi... See you guys in the next one... ❤️ #tiktoklive